Prop 8 aftermath

Yesterday I did the most politically active thing next to voting that I have ever done. For four and a half hours I stood on a street corner and waved a "yes on 8" sign with a group of like-minded individuals. As I made the drive from Hollywood to the westside of town I of course passed many people advocating against my position. At one particular intersection I saw a young man, perhaps in his late teens, handing out homemade "no on 8" flyers. I was filled with positive emotions watching somebody standing alone and standing up for what they believed. I laughed at the irony of me being happy to see somebody opposing the very point I was about to advocate, but it came down to this. I love people who stand for what they believe, even when I don't agree with them. I value that right to believe differently and to act on our beliefs insomuch that it doesn't infringe on the rights of others.

While out waving my sign, I had a range of experiences. Some were positive. I enjoyed the brief exchange with a lady who asked if she could still say hi even though she voted the other way. "Of couse. We love people who say hi, and we especially love people who vote," I responded. I even enjoyed the friendly banter with the No on 8 demonstrators who joined us later in the evening. We didn't talk about the proposition but did express our mutual respect. It made me happy that we were able to disagree on ideology but still be friendly.

On the other hand I did have my share of negative exchanges as well. I don't think I have ever been flipped off so many times in one night. Never in my life have I been called a bigot or a hateful person. I put myself in their shoes and realized that they were hating me because they felt I hated them first. I shrugged it off but really wanted to talk with them and explain myself further. I am not anti-gay. I don't even really consider myself homophobic. I am even, to a certain degree, for gay rights. I am ok with civil unions and am not advocating that their rights as domestic partners be taken away. In California, domestic partners have access to all the same rights as married couples. However, I do believe that marriage is different. Marriage is between a man and a woman.

You may think that it is silly to get so wrapped up in semantics, but I hold dear my right to believe that these are different relationships. The natural question is, "how does their believing differently hurt you?" It's a fair question. If we declare this a civil right, then I am in danger of losing my right to act on my beliefs that the relationships are different. If you think my fears are unfounded, please refer to this article from NPR.

Today I woke up and found out that prop 8 had passed. I expected to feel relief or happiness. Instead I felt sadness. I felt sad for the hurt feelings on both sides. I felt sad for my gay friends who had fought hard for what they believed too. I especially felt sad for the hurtful attacks being made against my church. It is true that we were very effective in mobilizing our forces for what we believed, but to make this strictly a Mormon issue is unfair. 52.5% of Californians voted in favor of this proposition. I promise you that the Mormon population in California does not make up such a high percentage. It is not strictly a Mormon issue. This is an issue that was supported by over half the state's population. That should say something.

The fact that the attack came so hard against religious organizations does not help to settle our fears that this will not affect our religious freedoms to believe differently. There are now facebook pages asking for the revocation of our tax exempt status as a church. There were protests in front of our temple. My friend even commented to me that she saw somebody post as their IM status "Spit on a Mormon day". I get where these feelings come from, but I want to say that tolerance works both ways. Does anybody else see the irony of somebody yelling, red-faced with anger, "You are a hater!"

So how do we move forward? How do we heal? How do we say that you have rights and we have rights and find a way to peacefully coexist and not infringe on each other's rights. These are the questions that I think we have to answer. And the fact that the majority felt that these relationship are indeed different says that we need to work on these issues as a society as a whole and not focus all the energy/blame on any one organization.